-The Quantum Mechanics of Now-

This is an exercise in patience…perseverance & polarity…a polemic & precocious attempt to deliver us from expectation & the perils of self-righteousness…this is an exclamation with no point…this is virtuous virulence…venomous…vertiginous…this is in collusion with confusion…in celebration with nothing…
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I was exiled to the desert of my imagination to await the verdict of fate & confront the trials of becoming… for I do not seek to be understood but to understand…I do not seek shelter but the eye of the storm…I’ve sought the one devout process governing the all & the acceptance of everything in its hideous splendor…I’ve sought purpose over predictability & presence over posturing…I’ve sought the space between the memories I live & the memories I dream…I’ve sought copulation with the crux of creativity & communion with the collective cosmos…I still seek but have yet to find the nothing I’ve sought…
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Only fools scold the sun for disturbing their slumber & live under the false pretence of a casual descent… they wallow outside of an acute orchestration of mourning surrounded by the stench & filth of fear & indecision…only fools chase shadows into the vacuous stare of uncertainty & willingly surrender to an essence beyond their capacity to control…only fools betray consequence & comprehend the quality of light…only fools remain oblivious of & ill-prepared for the futility of their wandering…
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I’m no more depressed than a lion in the zoo…I’m no longer impressed by what burdens you…I’ve broken so many windows I no longer use the door…I’m so used to less I no longer crave more…I’ve bought so many truths I now sell the lie…one moment @ a time…raw…unrefined & impossible to define…
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These stolen moments are @ the expense of boredom…monotony & the restless pursuit of form… these stolen moments are in response to my passion-obsessive-revision disorder… these stolen moments are an act of savage disobedience…in defiance of convention & the illusion of control…these stolen moments seek timeless resolution from the gravity of the future-past & retribution from institutional de-evolution…
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These are stolen moments so I must confess & come clean…I sleep through my life & live through my dreams…
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I heard you say that the fruit on the tree of knowledge is rotting & swollen with worms…but I’m still tempted by its taste…seduced by its ephemeral intoxication…I heard you declare that faithless action is paralysis or worse decay…yet one must sit still to comprehend motion…I heard you scream that we’re slaves to the heart…prisoners of rhythm…convicted of reasoning with space…I heard you proclaim that if you travel the distance from the earth to the sun you’ll find that your journey has only begun…I heard you promise that wounds will heal & scars are symbols of our existence…I heard you cry that life & love are as cursed as blessed…words you can feel but never digest…I heard you make a sound that was music to my ears…a sound so bright & filled with joy that it silenced my fears…I heard you explain nothing…
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You have left me alone before so I’ve come to expect rebirth @ any moment…you left me cold & I created fire…you left me blind & mute yet my visions found my voice…for these chains do not define me as I walk through walls I fail to see…I’m blinded by a light that flows like blood through me…
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All the words I’ve eaten have left a bitter taste but have never satisfied my hungry soul…all the fools I’ve suffered have taught me well but I’ve yet to learn my lesson…all the lives I’ve lived & left behind leave shadows on the walls of memory but lack the structure I desire…all my sins have preoccupied my time but still possess no weight…all the plans I’ve made had plans for me…
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This mind has no matter to speak of…no grasp on one reality…it only has questions with answers that ask more questions…it holds no truths to be self-evident…only momentary…for the only truth is that understanding comes last & without warning…unannounced & uninvited…
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The silence is deafening & the constant pressure of defending my ideas & defining my existence exhausts my inert soul…I am but a fragment of a whole that has yet to find a center or itself… dismembered by a voice…languishing in perpetual commotion traveling @ the speed of light in search of a glorious reunion with the absolute…I am a puzzled piece of the whole…hypnotized by the dance of light & the music of the spheres…in pursuit of the building blocks of imagination & the keeper of the keys to the collective wealth of our quantum misunderstanding...I am ravaged by the construct of time in a world that’s expanding… entangled by limbo’s web in a complex charade of chaos & contradiction…I’ve imagined my escape but haven’t quite found the equation & have battled my plans but postponed the invasion…
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Only fools like me fight imaginary battles against imaginary enemies…